I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
this will be a night to untag.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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