Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
