Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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