No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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