do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
