the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
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My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The ass gains better be worth it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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