Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
