A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
