my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
