why didn't you poke me back
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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