I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
