Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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