i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
