question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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