After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
