3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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