shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
