Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize