Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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