you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
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Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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