I love black thongs
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?