Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.