Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill