So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
