Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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(732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei

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(312): View more from Illinois

just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"

(1-312): View more from Illinois

go get him tiger.

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(312): just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun" (1-312): go get him tiger. http://tfl.nu/5kmx

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(954): View more from Florida

My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him

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(954): My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him http://tfl.nu/f43y

Replies (19) Good night (1383) Bad night (3049) Order T-Shirt
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(231): View more from Michigan

I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence

(415): View more from California

shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.

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(231): I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence (415): shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy. http://tfl.nu/3ya6

Replies (12) Good night (8307) Bad night (813)
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(773): View more from Illinois

please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.

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(773): please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes. http://tfl.nu/3kln

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(904): View more from Florida

the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

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(904): the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm http://tfl.nu/rl73

Replies (10) Good night (2346) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation

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(760): The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation http://tfl.nu/2mmn

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

All my credit cards need to be pressure washed

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(617): All my credit cards need to be pressure washed http://tfl.nu/kgeq

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(415): View more from California

Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!

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(415): Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM! http://tfl.nu/lg7j

Replies (5) Good night (589) Bad night (2078) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.

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(317): I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me. http://tfl.nu/xee4

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(407): View more from Florida

All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy

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(407): All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy http://tfl.nu/k1j3

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(587): View more from Alberta

I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?

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(587): I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it? http://tfl.nu/0nlc

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.

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(908): I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping. http://tfl.nu/2e7t

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(313): View more from Michigan

I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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(313): I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs http://tfl.nu/01r5

Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (981)
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(727): View more from Florida

You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car

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(727): You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car http://tfl.nu/u1q1

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