Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.

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  (503): I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any. http://tfl.nu/5jsz
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (2154)
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  (925): View more from California

  They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.

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  (925): They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah. http://tfl.nu/e2zc
  Replies (71) Good night (846) Bad night (6776)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me

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  (703): i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me http://tfl.nu/57r1
  Replies (1) Good night (2022) Bad night (814)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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  (314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (3014)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  How come I never meet celebrities?

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  (410): Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield" (1-410): How come I never meet celebrities? http://tfl.nu/j09q
  Replies (7) Good night (3460) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you

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  (503): He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you http://tfl.nu/gy7n
  Replies (11) Good night (1136) Bad night (2800)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way

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  (508): Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way http://tfl.nu/8wap
  Replies (5) Good night (2232) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.

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  (804): My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her. http://tfl.nu/xqm6
  Replies (7) Good night (4907) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

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  (202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. http://tfl.nu/wtju
  Replies (7) Good night (3035) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr

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  (620): nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr http://tfl.nu/wyqo
  Replies (9) Good night (1408) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.

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  (613): He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time. http://tfl.nu/b5xq
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.

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  (313): I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off. http://tfl.nu/tbu4
  Replies (11) Good night (532) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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  (931): I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA http://tfl.nu/jla7
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES

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  (+61): IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES http://tfl.nu/noxs
  Replies (6) Good night (800) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups

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  (509): My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups http://tfl.nu/v3c2
  Replies (5) Good night (195) Bad night (421)

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