Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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  (480): p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life http://tfl.nu/eu21
  Replies (24) Good night (4966) Bad night (724)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4581) Bad night (1374)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.

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  (201): I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number. http://tfl.nu/78e6
  Replies (28) Good night (5073) Bad night (998)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.

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  (908): and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line. http://tfl.nu/n1fc
  Replies (10) Good night (4490) Bad night (1402)
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  (562): View more from California

  or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.

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  (562): or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her. http://tfl.nu/io8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1860) Bad night (1236)
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  (310): View more from California

  so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.

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  (310): so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out. http://tfl.nu/anew
  Replies (22) Good night (8697) Bad night (1274)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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  (509): They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried. http://tfl.nu/h9l8
  Replies (17) Good night (2112) Bad night (4341)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.

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  (703): Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge. http://tfl.nu/8cnn
  Replies (4) Good night (2958) Bad night (816)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.

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  (304): You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate. http://tfl.nu/m6lj
  Replies (6) Good night (2346) Bad night (658)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.

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  (978): You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone. http://tfl.nu/5mak
  Replies (23) Good night (1909) Bad night (912)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW

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  (956): Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW http://tfl.nu/0qym
  Replies (8) Good night (1359) Bad night (400)
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  (310): View more from California

  Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.

  (310): View more from California

  It's the best of both worlds

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  (310): Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor. (310): It's the best of both worlds http://tfl.nu/n8mo
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (454)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.

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  (317): That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal. http://tfl.nu/kp6j
  Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (320)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed

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  (609): at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed http://tfl.nu/o3zy
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (285)
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  (589): View more from

  seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.

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  (589): seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/0cck
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (534)

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