I think i peed on brittanys purse
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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