carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
