This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
false alarm, still single
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize