you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
