So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
