FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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