I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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