How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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