I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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