please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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