Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
