i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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