you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
