when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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