he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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