He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
