Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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