oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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