Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My penis needs a shock collar
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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