yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
