; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
