I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
and she was petting her beer can
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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