we have officially lost it.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize