READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
