Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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