one two three fourrrrnication!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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