I wish you could order shots online.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize