it wasn't lemon gatorade
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
