is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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