They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize