I wanna bring you to show and tell
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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