Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
