I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize