I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize