we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
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