yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
