watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
