Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I need a beard to bite.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
