think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize