If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
