I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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