She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
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he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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