He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
