He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize