His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
