Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
