Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
