I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
