so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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