Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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