It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
