i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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