coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
