we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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