I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
