I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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