I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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