hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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