Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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