Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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